Collecting Thoughts

Unbelievable!!

2011-08-24T03:27:00.000-07:00

How can anyone leave a baby, a toddler in a hot car on a scorching summer day? Here in Atlanta, at least three….THREE children have died from a heat stroke being left in a car on 90+ summer day degrees…THIS YEAR! The same thing happened last year and the year before; children neglected by mothers, grandmothers, Daycare providers and other family members, leaving them in cars for hours on Georgia’s hot Summer days. In some cases the guardian was at their home; even if they left the baby in the car at home, wouldn’t you think that once they entered the house that they would sense that something is MISSING!! The piddle-paddle of tiny feet; the sound of noise the baby would be making; the whining for milk? SOMETHING should trigger their senses that the house is too quiet and missing something. Even if the baby is sleeping, you would think they would check up on them to see if they are safe. I really don’t understand this when it occurs at their home. For two or more hours they would not miss their baby or toddler? Unbelievable!

I heard on the radio one day, an “expert” of some discipline while talking about this subject suggest that the adult put their purse, or cell phone in the back seat, suggesting that they will not forget these items but has the tendency to forget a child? Are you kidding? That’s an insult to me to suggest that a person would place consumerism over human life. For one, they are probably on their phones when they exit the car. I will say that it does appear that women are more susceptible to leaving children in cars than men. Of all the cases that occurred in Atlanta…they all were caused by women, I’m just sayin’

If anyone can give me a rational explanation as to why they think this occurs, please let me know because I have racked my head trying to come up with something and for the life of me, I can’t rap my head around this because I’m finding this to be Unbelievable!

Adultery is Norm?

2011-08-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

I actually read the following quote by someone in cyberspace and I must say initially upon reading the quote I was stunned. The quote is:

To me, adultery is not devious…it is the norm

I don’t know what to comment on first, both parts of the quote is challenging me to the breaking point of trying to understand this concept, but I guess I will start with the second part of their quote with them saying “it is the norm”. I watch a few of the Judge <fill in the blank> shows on TV and when the plaintiff or defendant admits to having marital affairs, it is not relevant at all. Judges dismiss that bit of confession and carry on with the case like adultery is no big deal; they actually give you the impression that what the author said has some validity in the notion that adultery … is the norm. Sure, adultery is spreading throughout the country like Georgia kudzu along a country highway and if we haven’t committed adultery ourselves, we know someone that has. Does that make it normal? Thinking about it in those terms; maybe it is the norm. There are so many people that are engaging in adultery, but does that makes committing adultery the norm?

I’m Thinking …

I won’t quite succumb to the idea that adultery is the norm, but I am convinced that it is rampant. There are many people out there that are faithful to their spouse, marriage and family; however there are many people out there that are not. I think that no one can put their finger on the pulse of what caused this bend in the behavior of married couples, but I’m of the belief that greed is the fuel. Greed is running this country in all aspects of our lives; it seems to be the mindset that has been adopted by the dominant society. Greed is also ruining this country; it’s changing the landscape of humanity. Trust is an endangered concept that is rapidly becoming extinct and we know that without trust the idea of a nourishing relationship of any kind is doom. I hope we are not transforming dysfunction behavior into normal behavior. We all have good intentions but like a very good friend of mine said “An intention without a commitment is like a treasure map drawn in the sand. The slightest breeze will alter the outcome. But even an earnest commitment is not enough to ensure success. The commitment needs more; it needs the passion to see it through. – Richard Kenyada”. Perhaps committing adultery is the norm these days because we don’t possess the passion in our relationships to sustain the commitment we promised each other; whatever the reason is…adultery being seen as the norm in our society is a statement that is getting louder and louder.

Now the comment by the author that “adultery is not devious” stunned me. I guess that if he or she thinks it is “the norm”, then that’s not a farfetched notion from thinking that it is not devious. Have we really come to the mindset that adultery is acceptable? That it is an innocent act that doesn’t hurt anyone? Since when? I cannot wrap my head around this notion. How can something that destroys families, creates dysfunctional children, break hearts into pieces, strips self-esteem, turns two-parent household into a single, strips the trust from the heart of those that love and trust you and having the capacity of placing people in poverty and despair not devious in nature? I just don’t get it. I have never heard of a person laughing or celebrating when they find out that their spouse is or has committed adultery.

Adultery is about the most devious act you can do to a person besides taking their life. You can’t sugar coat it or reduce it to something that becomes acceptable to society. How can we take something so serious and turn it into something that is nonchalance? If we are of the opinion that adultery is not devious then we are on a very slippery slope to anarchy. Families are our strongest ally for a strong society. If we destroy the families by our selfishness in the actions we do, we will soon be our own worst enemy and this society cannot be healthy being built on selfishness and greed.

If this person’s comment has some validity in painting society’s acceptance of adultery as not devious (and I’m beginning to think that we are), then this is too much for me to absorb…I’m done.

Shouldn't Feel Like Work

2011-08-09T15:03:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading and have read a lot of blogs, articles and opinions on marriage. Everyone I’ve read, whether they think they are in a good marriage or on the brink of a divorce, says that marriage is hard work.

I’m sorry but I don’t buy that.

Marriage is not and should not feel like hard work. We have a tendency these days to categorize everything we do as ‘hard’ because we are spoiled and probably don’t know what ‘hard’ is. ‘Hard ‘ is what our ancestors endured; they had to fight for just a little decency and to recognized as a human. If we had to do that today, fighting for those simple human rights wouldn’t happen because we don’t possess the moxie that our ancestors had to get it done.

We are so blessed in this country that it is becoming a curse. We can’t seem to be happy or maintain a sense of happiness for more than a few moments. What have you done for me lately is more than a jingle in a song these days…it seems to be embedded in our DNA now. We complain about every little thing to the point that the small things in life are not appreciated and they have no significant meanings anymore.

Marriage should not feel like work; it shouldn’t. If you chose right and marry for the right reason, it shouldn’t feel like work. Have you heard the saying “if you have a job doing something you love, you’ll never work another day in your life”? This is the same attitude we should have when we have chosen and married the person we truly love and want to build a meaningful life with within the vows and commitment of being married. If you’re in a marriage with somebody you love; they love you and you both believe that your marriage is a sacred union that should be honored and there’s truly is an ‘us’ in this union then being married should not feel like work.

I know that a lot of people will not agree with my philosophy about whether Marriage is hard work and some will say that I am a backward thinker in this day and time but I will submit how many of us live by the golden rule “do unto others…”? Because we don’t, we get caught up in this tit-for-tat, me-me-me merry go round that only stops at the divorce courts. If we were to embrace marriage as the ethereal blessing that it is (and it is a blessing) I think we would not see it as hard work but as a wonderful extension to who we are.

Extraordinary Fathers?

2011-07-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I see an article or hear someone promoting and celebrating extraordinary fathers. I have always been skeptical of such accolade and don’t understand why fathers are given labels such as extraordinary. The label extraordinary raise questions that I can’t wrap my head around …

What is an extraordinary father?

What does a father do to have this honor bestowed upon him?

Anything a father does for his child is not extraordinary, it’s being a father.

If extraordinary means spending quality time with their children; that not extraordinary to me…that’s what fathers do.

If extraordinary means the father is providing for his children and perhaps give them what they need and also what they want; that’s not extraordinary to me…that’s what fathers do.

If extraordinary means that fathers spend time teaching his children the important of education, life skills, finance and business sense; that’s not extraordinary to me…that’s what father do.

If extraordinary means that fathers provide for his children’s education or assisting them buying their first home or help them financially when needed; that’s not extraordinary to me…that’s what fathers do.

A father cannot be extraordinary in my mind, no matter what he does for his children, that’s not extraordinary; it’s being a father. Fathers don’t look for accolades for raising their children, no fanfare, no pats on the back, no false labels attached to what they do as fathers. They take care of their families and the attention they may receive for doing so comes from his family…that’s what important to him, not meaningless labels. We love to attach labels on things to draw a classism approach where it is not needed such as extraordinary fathers. There is nothing extraordinary for being a father. Some fathers do more for their children than others perhaps, but that doesn’t make them extraordinary. Fathers do what they can for the best interest of their children within their resources and abilities.

Fatherhood is taking a big hit and we don’t really need to create a classism for ego boosting fathers that is in the home and taking care of business and believe me, it’s not needed and is not seek by those that are doing so; the personal growth of their children toward family values and society awareness is the reward he seek.

Ask any father that has this label bestowed upon him and he will quickly tell you that what he does for his children and family is not extraordinary, it is what fathers do…it is what fathers do.

60 Years Together

2011-07-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

Recently I had the honor of attending the 60^th Wedding Anniversary of my uncle and aunt. It was a beautiful gathering and event. In today’s time, it is hard to conceive anyone being married for 60 years; getting past 5 years is a milestone. We are definitely in a different time and place today (cultural wise for sure). A lot of people would ask “how did they do it?” for me I know how.

My uncle and aunt crossed their 60^th threshold the same way they crossed their first…with a commitment to each other and their belief in marriage, family and each other. Next to my dad, my uncle was someone that I looked up to. There is an African proverb that says “No matter how tall you get, you will always look up to your father” I feel the same way about my uncle. I will always look up to him. He is a loving family man; he loves his family and it showed in the way he interacted with them. He gave them respect and the room to grow within their selves but with his guidance and teachings. My uncle is a story teller, he always would tell stories of his childhood or generalities of life. The one thing about those stories is that they always had a positive moral embedded either by design or default. He is a spiritual man and gave respect to everyone and all living creatures; so it doesn’t take much to understand how he treated his wife. He loves his wife more than he loves himself. My Uncle is a man of honor and integrity and he showed it everyday to all that had the chance to observe him. He had a silence influence on me. I incorporated his teachings with my own parents guidance and I'm a better man for it.

My aunt is one of the most honorable people you can know. Her quiet demeanor complemented her spirit of love and life. She is one that respects others and loves her family and friends to the point of making choices that benefits all; if they didn’t benefit her family she would make another choice or not make one at all. My Aunt makes the best yeast rolls on the planet. She gave me the recipe so now she and I makes the best yeast rolls on the planet J The love for her family is evident in the way she spent the time with them teaching her children the necessities of life and the benefits of being respectful to all God’s creatures and Life itself. She is a remarkable woman and loves her husband more than she loves herself.

So you see if you knew them you could understand how a 60^th anniversary is possible. They know the value and strength of a family and they believes in marriage and how important it is in raising a family, not just through the adolescent stages of their children but throughout their lives. They understand the power of love and what it can do if you give it a chance to work it powers. They realize that Love encompasses all the things that people tend to separates into individual boxes (i.e. respect, compassion, communication, trust and others); they that without one loving each other is impossible, so they followed the principles of the golden rule “Do unto others …” and lastly they engraved in their marriage of sixty years the simple but important vow them made to each other sixty years ago ….

“Until death do we part”.

Life Whispers

2011-07-07T17:16:00.000-07:00

Life is constantly whispering to you … listen.

A poster on a popular web site I frequent asked the question “When Things Goes Wrong in Your Life…what do you need to hear? My answer was silence.

I said silence because when things are out of kilter, I think we need to listen to Life’s Whispers and you cannot here the whispers unless you are quiet…in silence. Life is constantly whispering to us, but often times we are too busy living to hear the whispers. When you’re about to do something that you realize is wrong but you want to do it anyway, the voices that say “don’t do it, you know it’s wrong” are the whispers of life. Life Whispers monitors how you are living against the principles of Life as it is. When it is determined that how you are living is directly or indirectly infringing on the principles of life, it (Life) whispers to us encouraging us to rethink things and make adjustments to become more in line with what the principles prescribe.

The whispers are like your GPS system…when you go down the wrong road it will initiate a "re-calculating" process...the Whispers do the same thing, when they detect an action that is questionable against the principles endowed to you, Life Whispers will inform you that maybe you need to re-calculate things to get you back on kilter and more in-line with what yourself and life has for you.

Life is the beginning of this journey that you had nothing to do with. Once you are here, the core principles of Life are embedded for us to draw upon when needed or necessary. The Whispers speaks to you but will not interfere with how you live. Only when we take the time to hear them is when their presence is known. They will never suggest something that is not beneficial and if you really listen to them, you will appreciate a greater understanding of yourself; the way you are currently living and give you a vision for moving forward in your life.

If we slow down some and take the time to listen, we wouldn’t have the chaos we are experiencing in everything from marriages, relationships, finances, parenting, and everything else that plagues our community and this society. The Whispers does not dictate your life; you can do what you want, what ever your desires are, but what they do is observe and examine the way you are living and reveals to you that you are not quite in line with the principles of Life, but we have to listen to hear them.

Life is constantly whispering to you … Listen

I Know What I HEARD!

2011-07-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in a debate, a conversation, or an argument with someone and they try to question the fact of what you heard?

My best friend and I decided to take the 4th of July weekend and take a road trip (by car) to Biloxi, MS from Atlanta, which is roughly 6 ½ hours for a little R&R, gambling, and eating. He flew down from Maryland and we drove to Biloxi so we could engage in dialogue and friendly conversation. Every time we get together, two things always happens; we have deep conversation about life in general and we always find something to argue about. Neither one of us can remember the subject of the argument the next day, but rests assure we always find something to argue (I mean “debate”) about.

Anyway, on the road trip to Biloxi, we had the deep conversations and of course we had our classic argument on the drive down. The argument was senseless as usual and it was centered on something that we both don’t know much about; neither one of us are really into sports but he feels he is an expert in basketball because he is a ticket holder for the Washington Wizard. The argument was not related to basketball so that leaves us approximately equal in our knowledge of professional sports. The conversation started out okay; we were talking about the lockouts and the salaries and I mentioned to him what I heard on TV one day and he disputed me on WHAT I HEARD. He tried to disprove what I heard by stating basketball statistics. I told him I didn’t know what was the sport involved…it could have been many, but his argument was his knowledge on basketball, big deal, the sport I was talking about could have been football or baseball or soccer for that matter, but I know what I heard and no one can dispute what I heard stats or not and for heaven sakes I did not say “I heard this about basketball”, so since that is the only sport that he follows and is an “expert” on basketball statistics, I did not say it was related to basketball. So There!

Anyway, we went at it for at least an hour (probably longer) and of course we didn’t accomplish anything. He can’t disprove my statement and I couldn’t say when or where I heard it but one thing I know … I know what I HEARD.

Personal Space

2011-06-29T05:45:00.000-07:00

Father’s day, my daughter paid me a visit with the grandchildren. I enjoyed their company very much and wished they were closer to visit more often. I offered to give them my bedroom to sleep and I slept on the couch downstairs in the family room. I didn’t mind because it was much cooler downstairs and the summer heat was on, I've been sleeping there for a while and was quite comfortable sleeping there.

My grandson (8yr) asked me about my binoculars (don’t quite know how he knew I had some but anyway…) I told him that I didn’t know where they were and I would look for them later. Well being that my daughter occupied by bedroom, the grandchildren hung out in there as well. My grandson comes down to the family room with the binoculars I asked him where he found them….he said in your drawer. I wasn’t angry at him but I was disappointed that he would invade someone’s personal space. I considered this a teachable moment (don’t know how good it did but anyway…) so I tell him in front of my daughter, that he should never go into people drawers without their permission…never! I expound to him the important of people’s personal space. A home is the personal space of the family that lives there, even if you are a relative if you don’t live there, you must understand and consider that you are a guest and therefore you must exercise respect to the person(s) living there.

My mother told me when I was a child to always return a place like you found it. She insisted that we respect the personal space of others. She said to always observe the way a person maintained their space and the placement of items in their home and when you leave those items like you find them.

There are not too many personal spaces an individual have…their home is one and even inside their home, there are personal spaces. A parent’s bedroom is their personal space inside their home that should be respected by each member of their family. A child should not go into a parent’s bedroom unless directed to do so. If parents would instill this in their children, you wouldn’t have so many children getting shot by a gun they ‘found’ in their parent’s room.

I think that parents shouldn’t allow children in their room without permission and I further believe that parents should teach their child about respecting other’s personal space. We don’t teach boundaries anymore and the results of that is a society that have no respect for others.

Do NOT Disturb

2010-09-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

Heard in Song – Do Not Disturb

I was listening to a song by Phil Perry and he was telling his significant other to hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. So I started thinking about the significant of that sign and what it’s supposed to entail and said to myself “yeah right…no such thing. Do Not Disturb? You got to be kidding”.

When was the last time you hung the DnD sign on the door in your home?

Of course we probably don’t have the physical sign but mentally, do you hang the DnD sign up when you’re with your significant other or even with your family? I doubt that we do because I truly believe that we have been swallowed up by the Matrix aka Internet, but wouldn’t it be nice if we hung this sign out sometimes for everyone to see and not disturb us for a while? Intimately, I’m sure we would at times, but even in non intimate moments we need to hang this sign out and take a break from the world.

This society is so opened now that we let people and everything else invade our lives at any given moment without even giving it a thought. It’s like call-waiting; we put the current conversation on hold to engage in another. I will bet the following scenario has happened at least once in your life … you say “lets snuggle up on the sofa (or in bed) and watch a movie together “; you get what you need (snacks, something to drink, etc), pop the movie in, snuggle up and five minutes into the movie the phone rings and one of you say “put it on pause” then get up to answer it; and I also bet that the phone will ring at least three times before the movie is over and that’s only if the movie is not postponed because of too many interruptions. Wouldn’t it be nice if we put that DnD sign up while watching the movie and enjoy the movie snuggled up with the one you love undisturbed?

Or how about this one…there is no family time anymore because of the constant interruptions, social network sites addictions, or claims of the work that need to be done for the morning staff meeting at work.
Why do we constantly let people (or things) interrupt and invade our lives any time they want?

Don’t you want to set aside a time that blocks external interruptions and spend time giving and receiving the full attention of your family or just to yourself if you live alone?

Anyway, these are some of the thoughts that came to mind as I was listening to that song…what about you?

Where would your mind take you if you were listening to that song?

Teachable Moments

2010-09-07T07:57:00.000-07:00

Seen in Park – ‘a missed teaching moment’

When you are with children there are always teachable moments. You are always presented with an opportunity to teach them something or to demonstrate, or just to talk to them about something that will become of value later on in life.

The weather this weekend was absolutely gorgeous with low temperatures and humidity and not a cloud in the sky. It was a refreshing and welcomed change from the brutal heat wave that beat us down most of the summer. I had stopped walking in the park because of the heat, but this weekend called me out of the house and into the park for early morning walks around Stone Mountain Park.

The park was filled with activity as the weather called others out of their homes as well. So I was into my walk when a young boy perhaps 8 or 9 years old passed me on his bike and right behind him was his father. I thought to myself how nice it was to see a dad out with his son and just up ahead was a hill that I’ve christened ‘breath-hard hill’ because it is steep and you breath hard going up it lol. I saw the young boy get off his bike to take a breather before tackling the hill and then his father dismounted as well. There was a short stone wall where people sometimes sit and rest before going up and there is a light pole with manicured landscape surrounding it. The other side of the wall was just grass. The young boy was about to sit down and hold his bike when his dad pulled up and rest his bike along the pole, trampling landscape flowers/plants and signaled his son to rest his bike on the other side of the pole thus trampling more flowers/plants. The father missed a teachable moment by not showing his son how to respect the park, or any public space where special attention is paid to particular areas. He also missed the moment to show his son the importance of acknowledging and respecting the work of others.

Teachable moments are only beneficial when we realize that they have presented themselves, let’s try to be more aware of the opportunity and seize those moments to help make the world a better place to live.

A Wise Man Said

2010-07-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

A wise man once told another wise man that told me and now I’m telling you ...

I was talking to a good friend at our 39th Class Reunion and discovered that he has been married for 30+ years (I forgot the actual years, but even 30 is significant in this day and time). I’m not surprised that HE has managed to accomplish this because he is a great person, well grounded and have a lot of respect for himself and others. So I asked him how did he managed to stay married for so long and he told me a little about his family and how he and his wife are sharing their life together; He didn’t say anything that most of us don’t already know, but the difference is that they both believed in their union…that’s important.

Toward the end of our conversation though, he mentioned three things that have followed him throughout his life and to be honest, I don’t quite remember the first two but the last thing he said resonated with me so much that I had to write about it.

Greg told me that a relative of his (I believe his uncle, but I could be wrong about that), a wise man, told him something before stepping out on his own that he has never forgotten and brought into his marriage. Greg said this person told him that in any relationship he forms to …

“Always Give More Than You Want, and Never Take More Than You Need”

I could end this conversation right here because what’s left to say after that? As a matter of fact, I think I will end it here.

I hope it resonates within you like it did me.

The 'HOOD' is About Free Passes

2010-05-08T17:37:00.000-07:00

Heard on Train - The ‘HOOD’ is about “Free” Passes

A young man (19-21y/o) sitting a seat over from me on the train was ‘schooling’ his buddy who appears to be a little younger, about some things. He was talking about what he would do if he made it big rappin’ (what else?) He was explaining why rappers come to the hood and give away stuff free (like turkeys and hams and sometimes giving benefits). This is some of what I overheard.

He said the ‘HOOD’ is about “Free” passes. They (rappers) don’t do those things necessarily to give back; in the hood face recognition is very important.If people know you they will give you your props; if they don’t know you they don’t care about you. So you do things like free concerts and giveaways, the hookup, so they will get to know who you are. It’s like “yeah I know that n-word, he’s an alright dude”

Then he started talking about jobs and I overheard him say something like “I’m not working for minimum wage and people are always complaining about me not having a job. What am I suppose to do? If they don’t hire you…I’m going to sit still and be broke”. I’m playing defense right now…just waiting to make my move.

The HOOD is about a “Free” pass…imagine that

Thankful

2010-05-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

It's interesting to me how society cannot seem to sustain gratitude throughout the year on a daily basis and how we can't or don't express being thankful unless something happens to induce us to realize the blessings we really do have. Thanksgiving is one of those times when we reflect on things we are thankful for and I wrote the following to a website, kenyada.com, that I have been affiliated with for years. With Mother's day approaching, I was induced to repost it again in this blog.

What are you Thankful for?

I am thankful that in years past I came to a realization that I can stop searching for the meaning of life for there is no meaning.

I am thankful that I can enjoy the simplest of things just as much as I can those I think are more complicated; now knowing that they are on the same level and I can appreciate that understanding.

I am thankful that life is still within me and I pause on occassions everyday to meditate on the significant of that. I recently returned from visiting my Mom and going to a very small class reunion Spiritual Conference; names were read of the classmates that are no longer with us. My heart sank hearing some of the names on the list...I am thankful that mine wasn't.

I am just thankful for those that have entered my life and enhanced it with their presence. I often think of friends and acquaintances I've met online in the early days of the internet and discussion boards and on occassions often summon their voices...I am thankful for having the pleasure of their company.

Most of all I am thankful for my parents. Words can't express how grateful I am to have them. I still shed a tear thinking about my father and I am so thankful that my mom is still here with me.

No Good Man

2009-09-04T18:01:00.000-07:00

Heard in Store – “No good man want a woman to take care of him”

I had a craving for some ice cream on my way home so I stopped by a grocery store to pick up some and maybe even some cookies, man I was craving for sweets. As I turned into the ice cream isle, I saw this woman on her cell phone buying some TV dinners which was right across from the ice cream. As I got close I hear her talking to who I believe was a girlfriend. The conversation was low volume at first then I hear “no good man wants a woman to take care of him…that does something to their psyche.” The conversation got louder as if she wanted me to validate that statement. She repeated it again with even more bravado and got aggravated at the person she was talking to because it appeared from the conversation that the person was interested in a man that was loafing or something. This woman really got agitated as she walked away to another aisle trying to convince the person on the phone that a good man do not want a woman to take care of him…that messes up their psyche.

I agree. Yes I wanted to validate her statement. Sure, I wanted to say absolutely!! The thing that stopped me was the word ‘good’. I don’t like that word when it comes to describing someone’s perception of a person, it's a personal thing. A man, period, don’t want a woman to take care of him but a boy does. A boy wants to lie around and do nothing while their woman handle all the responsibilities of the household. A man would never allow that to happen. Personally I can’t understand why a woman would allow a man to take advantage of her like that. At least men are wired for taking care of a woman if need be, whether the woman has herself together or not.

(Lady if you ever read this blog...I agree with you)

It appears that we are definitely reversing the roles of the sexes. Women are tatting their bodies and going to work, men are wearing earrings and letting women take care of them. Go figure.

Nothing is Free

2009-09-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

Heard on Train – “nothing in the world is free”

When I hear someone say this, although I know what they are referring to nonetheless I feel saddens somewhat that their life is so complicated to the point of not appreciating all the things right before their eyes. I know they would be referring to things that are man-made, and those things become the essence of our lives, but in the scheme of things, these things should not overpower Earth’s bountiful wonders and life’s precious gifts…all which are free.

To wake up and see the sun rising doesn’t cost a thing.

To feel the cleansing of a rain storm doesn’t cost a thing.

To appreciate a bird singing or a bee buzzing or an ant wandering doesn’t cost a thing.

To feel the pulse of life, the love of a loved one, even the admiration of your children don’t cost a thing.

There are some man-made things that are free, the reason we don’t seem to notice is because we take them for granted, and this can also be the reason that we can’t see the love we receive from our love ones or appreciate the things they do for us because we take them for granted as well. Everything has to have a price tag hanging on it for us to see its value or determine its worth and this is unfortunate because we miss so many wonderful things that can enhance our lives that are free and abundant.

If we stop ignoring the things that are free in life, maybe we’ll feel better about those that aren’t.

Katrina

2009-08-30T17:57:00.000-07:00

Aug 29, 2009 marks the 4^th year anniversary of the category 5 hurricane Katrina that tore through the Gulf Coast destroying almost everything in its path and causing the levies in New Orleans to breach, flooding over 250,000 homes and killing 1,800 people.

We take so many things for granted here in the United States…so many, but when we’re blessed to live in the richest country in the world it takes major catastrophes to humble us (for a short period of time) to where we are thankful for our blessings.

I was watching a show this morning that was talking about a construction crew from Canada rebuilding a home for an elderly lady that was a Katrina survivor but lost everything she had. Every home on this one particular street was washed away by the floods. On a street that probably had at least 50 homes now has none. After three years a single house was finally built and this new house was going to be built next to it.

The contractor came over to talk to the lady for a moment and told her that they might make a lot of noise and hope she doesn’t mind….she said

“I don’t mind, that means that I’m going to have neighbors…I can watch from my porch. Y’all going to be her for 2 months…I ain’t going no where”

In a world where we have neighbors all around us, we barely (if at all) know our neighbors. To this woman in New Orlean having a neighbor was something precious to her. We probably can’t realize the significance of this unless we were the only house built in a neighbor that once housed 100 homes.

It truly is the small things in life that so precious and usually we don’t recognize or appreciate it until it’s gone. New Orleans and hurricane Katrina taught us so much about the frailties of life and it should have taught us appreciate all things that we are blessed with on this Earth.

Seen While Out

2009-08-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

I decided to get out the house last weekend and browse some art galleries, maybe take in a show and have dinner somewhere downtown while there before coming back to the suburbs. I don't have a good camera yet, so I snapped a couple of pictures of things that caught my eye and was not ordinary using my iPhone...pictures of somethings that were I thought were offbeat. I hadn't planned on taking pictures, it was an impulse thing triggered by the objects more than anything else.

The first thing that caught my attention was a picture of a log bench/seat placed in one of the premiere Arts Center. It wasn't on display or off limits, you cou

ld actually sit on it if you wanted. I thought the concept was very interesting ... what do you think?

The log was huge and a couple was sitting there just before I took the pic. Not only is it functional as a bench with a table, it's also a piece of art.

The other thing I saw that I just had to take a picture of was of the human kind. I saw this person sitting at a food court at the CNN building. It was extremely hot that day and I didn't notice this person until he got up for a moment. Why I thought this was interesting enough to take a picture? well, you would had to have been there...this picture might not do the kodak moment justice, but I think you can make out the oddity I felt seeing this.

I had a great time...did some things I hadn't done in a while, saw some things that were very interesting and saw some things that really captured my curiosity. The objects of these two photos really caught my attention and triggered a curiosity like no other.

DNA

2009-08-04T16:59:00.000-07:00

Heard on Train - Today on the train I heard distortion, noise and annoying crackle

Riding the trains to work, or stopped at a traffic light, or just walking down the street you can hear it...some might call it music, but all I hear is distortion, noise and over-driven amplifiers. On the train I can hear distortion coming out of a person's earpiece or headphone 15 feet away. Yes, they play their music just that loud and if I can hear this crackle 15 feet away, I can only imagine what it is doing to that person's ears.

It seems that in today's time, a nice stereo is determined by how loud it can thump. Young folks go and buy the 15 inch speakers and place it in the trunk of their hoopty, turn up the volume as loud they can and ride around like they have a crunk-system. To play music that loud with the clarity necessary for hearing good music will cost a lot of money…lots. If you’re going to disturb others with your music, at least give them something other than noise and distortion to listen to. They see these killer systems on Pimp My Ride and Cribs and think all they have to do is buy a big speaker, throw it in the trunk and pump up the volume. The systems they see on those shows are expensive; they can deliver quality music with the volume full blast, just putting a big woofer in your trunk don’t work.

Same thing with hand-held portables…they are just not equipped to play music loud, they are designed that way. They are for personal use and listening pleasure. I would guess that the engineers specifically engineered them to distort the sounds badly if the volume is turned up where it can become an annoyance, but it seems that we like the distortion and noise, so we turn it up and annoy those around us and further agitate folks like me that is more bothered by the distortion than the music itself.

Gone are the days of being fussy over good music and the stereos that they are played on. No longer do we have to meticulously wipe vinyl albums (with the grains) with a lint-free cloth. We don’t even have to worry too much about scratches period. Headphones back then were not only to listen to your music and not disturb others in the room, but another way to appreciate your music in its full spectrum in a quieter setting, uninterrupted. I used to spend hours….HOURS listening to my music with headphones and unless you actually saw me with the headphones on, you wouldn’t even know I was there (other than an occasional hum or an attempt to sing a stanza)

Riding public trains, after a while you get used to cell phones and loud music, but the distortion from these noise sources is driving me crazy!!! lol.

p.s. I drafted this piece at work and on my way home, this woman sitting about 5 rows (about 12 feet) from me had her music so loud, I couldn't tell where it was coming from at first, I guess she thought it was okay since it was gospel and we ALL needed to hear it lol

I wonder what I will hear on the train tomorrow?

Air Pudding

2009-08-02T15:35:00.000-07:00

Heard on Train – On the train today I heard “air pudding or water soup”.

Today was interesting while riding the train home from work. It wasn’t so much as what I heard this time, even though there were a few nuggets, but it was the language and the expressions of how what was said, said. This lady boarded the train with either a daughter, niece or some family member and she was cursing like a drunk sailor…I know what a drunken sailor sounds like…I was a sailor (and at times drunk lol)

She started cursing her job, the computers and her manager. Then she started talking about things going on at her house and in the middle of that she said that she was tired as hell and it won’t be no MF’ing cooking in her house today. She said “I ain’t cooking nothing!”, the SOBs is going to have a choice between air pudding or water soup tonight! She said she didn’t give a *bleep* or a good GD because she was tired. The relative asked the woman “ they have a choice between what?” She said air soup or water pudding or air pudding or water soup, she didn’t *bleep*’ing care. Then she started in on the relative that was riding with her…calling her a selfish mofo’ , lazy and a spoiled ass *bleep-bleep, bleep da-bleep* for an argument the young lady and her significant other had over some soiled diapers left in a bucket and no one bothered to dispose of the diapers properly.

They had a disagreement on that subject so they were silent the rest of the ride to their stop. As I was sitting there after they got off the train, I just thought to myself…I can understand the woman’s point that she was tired and didn’t feel like cooking, and I feel that she is saying that her family is going to have to work something out for dinner that night, or that she will order carry-out or something, but she said tonight they have a choice of air pudding or water soup … LOL! That’s cold.

Now I know what is served when someone don’t want to cook and at the time don’t care, I’ve eaten off that menu a few times myself when I was married, I just didn’t know what I was eating. The air pudding was okay but the water soup? It was too soupy.

I wonder what I will hear on the Train tomorrow.

Speaking of cooking…for the first time ever, not only did I finally try a fettuccine dish…I cooked it. Yeah, I whipped up some chicken alfredo over fettuccine and surprisingly…I liked it. That goes to show me that you can’t say you don’t like something and haven’t even tasted it. I just knew I wouldn’t like it and have avoided the dish for years, only to find out that I like it enough now to add it to my dinner rotation (I guess I can move the tuna salad over to make room lol) Anyway, here is a picture.

Chicken Alfredo Fettuccine with 5-cheese Texas Toast

Didn’t Want to Come Back

2009-07-31T15:16:00.000-07:00

Heard on Train – On the train today I heard someone say “didn’t want to come back”.

She was referring to a recent trip she took over the weekend. I know it was over the weekend because I saw her with her suitcase on Friday heading for the airport and she was back riding the train on Monday.

The first thing I thought about when I heard her say “...didn’t want to come back” was the question “why?” I always want to come home from anyplace I’ve travel, most times I can't wait to get back. Yeah, being away from home for a few days or so can be nice, but I welcome returning back home. I know that the only reason I enjoyed where I was as much as I did was because that place is not where I live… that place was where I played. If I had to “live” in that place I just visited, fun and all, I probably would have a different perspective about it altogether.

Home is where my life is centered. Everything I own or has aspired to accomplish is in or centered around my home. It’s where I live. I can’t imagine not wanting to return to the things that I love and cherish the most in life. Where ever my home is, it will always be the place where I would want to come back to. I can honestly say that my home is where I want to be.

I wonder if, where ever that lady visited, she had to get up every morning and catch the train to work, maintain the household and all the other mundane things we do to live , would she be so eager to stay there and didn’t want to come back. Any place could be nice when you don’t have to deal with day-to-day chores and other things we do to make a living for ourselves…sometimes we go places and do more work there than if we were home and can’t wait to get back, in spite of all the things we have to do at home. I guess it’s all relative lol

Anyway, that is what I heard on the train and it triggered some thoughts that began to roam through my mind, I’ll close with a timeless quote in a timeless movie by someone we all know, Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ when she said….there is no place like home.

I wonder what I will hear on the train tomorrow?

Straighten Out

2009-07-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

Heard on Train - Today on the train I heard the words "Straighten Out"

The ride into work this morning was the ride from hell. I knew something was simmering when I saw two trains on the track. I catch the second train each so when I saw two, something wasn’t right. Well what should have taken 20 minutes tops, took an hour. So the train was quiet until the last three stops, the train would creep along then stop…creep along then stop. You could hear the frustration of some folks that was on a time schedule and as we got close to the exchange station, a frustrated lady said out loud that “they need to straighten out this mess”. Everybody felt her pain because this was the third in as many consecutive weeks that a major delay has occurred with the trains.

Now, I’ve heard the words straighten out too many times to count and it ranges from a parent referring to those word to correct the behavior of their children to declaring those word in battle with a creditor or their bank account to proclaiming those words with relationship matters. Straighten things out in our lives is a constant adjustment it seems; there is always “something” that needs our attention and we just can’t get around it. If we try to ignore it, it only seems to get worse. Even when we have no control or input in “straighten out” something we will let it be known that “somebody” need to do something.

Everybody on the train probably wanted to say what that woman said on the train…she just beat us to the point. LOL!

I wonder what I will hear on the train tomorrow?

Walking Distance

2009-07-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

Heard on Train - Today on the train I heard the words "Walking Distance"

The train ride both to and from work was fairly quiet today. No cellphone conversations, no bitching to co-workers about a supervisor or another co-worker, no relationships issue...nothing. I was almost ready to give up when out of nowhere I heard the words "walking distance", so I jotted it down.

Hearing the words, I was immediately reminded of this African Proverb I once heard. "every place is within walking distance if you have the time".

It doesn't say you have to be there right now, or even in a year or 10 years...it's saying that if you have the time, anyplace on earth is within walking distance. To me I pull from this proverb the word patience.

In this fast-paced society we live in today, just the thought of walking anywhere takes too much time...time that we just don't have. It's odd too that we're always in such a hurry to go places but we never seem to get to where we're going on time. Time has become the number one commodity that we value the most because we're always saying "time is too short" and "life is too precious" but we spend the time we have rushing here and there and going nowhere and being late for everything.

Walking distance is best described in this day and time as the distance we can travel in about three minutes, anything longer than that requires the use of a vehicle. There is almost nothing within walking distance in our life today, physically or mentally, we just can't imagine the time "wasted" walking, but just think about that African proverb and imagine to yourself that you can actually walk to the other side of the world ... if you have the time.